The classical description of the character
types ends on this character. There are five characters in total. But some
investigators divide rigid character into two distinct types. At this division Ill
give the classical description of this character, and Ill give the other two
afterwards, for you to have as much information as possible for working on you.
You, when learning this character and the following two, try to unite them in
one whole. They differ from each other by the presence of additional blocks
only. Thus, the rigid type (fig. 8).
In the childhood, approximately in the age of
seven that is in the age when the child is already able to distinguish on the
mind level one sex from another, he lived through the rejection from the side
of the parent of the opposite sex. Since the erotic pleasure for the child,
sexual feeling and love are one and the same (their mind hadnt split all
this till then, how happy they are!), he treats this actions toward him as
betrayal. These actions might be most innocent from the point of view of the
adult, but from the childs view they - are devastating betrayal which strongly
injures and blocks the feelings.
For instance, one
woman told that, when she was about five years old, the father joked
bad-luckily and put her, as adults say, in the unfavorable light in front of
the other man, his friend, who was admitted into the house. Since then she felt
herself separated from her father and stood aside from him.
When the child experiences such a rejection he
considers inside that now hell control literally all his feelings, either
positive or negative, not admitting them to the outside and to the inside. He
stagnates.
These child stories are difficult to recall for
some people, particularly if schizoid character is mixed together with rigid
character, this is why to find out there is the rigid type presented in you,
one should look on those life situations which happened to him. If you were
rejected, and you didnt experience the feeling of betrayal at that time
especially during the school years, - consequently, you definetly
have this character in you. Then you need to begin investigating this character
in yourself.
To yield, to begin to admit the feelings of
love to the outside and to be experienced this is absolutely impossible thing
for the rigid type, since this means for him to live again through what was
happening to him sometimes. Here is the fear uncovered to live through the
intolerable pain of rejection and betrayal. This is why he restrains this is
his behavior model his feelings, this is why he will attain the desired by
any other means, that is, he will manipulate and accomplish the turning
maneuvers.
Rigid character uses two types of defenses.
First on them is Holding on the Boundary. It is used to skip unpleasant
situations by empowering and thickening the boundaries of ones own field so
that it, and this implies the man also, cant be influenced. The non-verbal
message communicated here is a message of ones own predominance.
On the physical level this defense can be
noticed rather easily in the face mimicry which takes a haughty
expression. But as for the feelings,
they are complicated enough and miscellaneous. There is a desire to agree to
this persons authority, and a fear to address to him with some question, and a
desire to bend into three ruins, and much more. If you ever entered the office
of high chief, you can acknowledge these feelings which this defense impels in
you. Husband and wife successfully apply this defense relatitively
to each other.
The second defense is called Demonstration of
the Power. People who are able to perceive the aura claim that when it is
used, the aura is blown and lit in such a way that no one has the doubts left
anymore who is head here and who should not go into one others business. The
message of ones own predominance is more powerful here then in the first case.
When you know where to look at and what goes
on, its very absorbing to watch the invisible tournament between two rigid
types, especially if this takes place in a company and when they have rather
great difference in age and power. All this, of course, is hidden from their
eyes. More young and weak tries to enter the territory and snatch his place.
This can look in the words as preserving ones own opinion or a desire to
declare aloud about oneself and to demonstrate ones own independence.
In respond to this actions more elder and
experienced lion no matter, if he is a man or woman takes on the
appropriate steps, makes declarations which destroy the enemy and in every
possible way discredits him to preserve his sphere of influence. But the main
battle occurs on another level, although it looks externally very decently and
in a cultured way. If everything passes by successfully, the opinion of the
younger one begins to look in the others eyes at least unserious, and he
himself impels a feeling of pity.
Sometimes rigid character uses Hysteria to
solve his problems.
Rigid type has sex intercourses experiencing
the contempt to his partner. Since this feeling is not very cheered up in the
society, many people hide it from them and from the others. But, having looked
into oneself, man with rigid character definitely finds it and may be very
surprised by its presence. Indeed he says constantly for everyone and
everything that he loves the opposite sex and obtains the pleasure passing time
with it.
This feeling of contempt man be easily
determined, if one listens to the words, which men say about the women: This
creatures*... or All of them - are bitches. And women about the men: All of
them are male dogs*, they need it only. But whats interesting, the man by
himself, having the rigid character, tends to have many partners and to change
them, because he trusts in no one and thinks that his choice is incorrect every
time.
Rigid type prohibited him to feel and to
experience love toward the opposite sex since he has been betrayed sometime. He
has the feeling of love associated with pride, which he has more then enough.
And when he is rejected in sexual nearness, he feels he was struck on this
feeling. And here then he is likely to use rigidity, in order to get vengeance
for that.
And men and women possess proportional and
harmonically constituted body which makes one single whole. In classical view a
man has a muscular body and seems dressed in armor. And this is really so,
since he decided not to admit feelings in himself and out of. Women have a
body, of course, not so muscular, but it looks strong, straight and seems
closed also. If a man blocks his feelings totally, a woman, due to the soft
women nature, blocks them fragmentarily, that is she nevertheless admits them
for some time. She doesnt have such strong strains in the body as a man has.
Man who have rigid character possess great
amount of energy and of will to act, but, dressing into the armor they stop the
stream of their feelings. Such blocking, when will centers work and feeling
centers are closed allows one to set up his life externally, having everything
necessary from material goods (and even more, to have family, success), but
inside they will always be feeling discomfort, feel that there is a lack of
something in their life. The women will experience that especially sharply.
To break through into more
deeper feelings anyway, this kind of woman usually creates crisis in her
life. This might be sickness, accident, rape, love affair, divorce anything,
but to begin to feel again.
Man, distinctly from a woman, as a rule, feels
nothing at all. He achieves this by creating the strong strain among the entire
body, which in turn can create such sicknesses as ulcer, inflammation of the
tendons, or the problems with the heart, since he struggles all the time and breaks
through forward.
To break through to his feelings, he will also
begin to create critical situations in the life, as, for instance, listed
above. As for the heart attack this is one of the best means to begin to feel
and to return back to life again. Now, I hope, you have understood who does
create, that is where do the critical situations come from in our life and
where do they lead to.
To speak the block language, these are blocks
and fears which create all these situations. To speak subpersons
language, disowned selves which carry in them feelings, emotions and other
instinctual energies, having accumulated the power, regularly break through to
the outside, breaking the defense of primary mental selves and producing
chaos around them. This is a way they realize themselves.
So who does create crisis in your life?
This will continue up to the moment till you
suppress in you feelings and emotions and remain closed.
Rigid character holds his head highly, and his
backbone straight, because he has a lot of pride. I remind you that the pride
conceals weakness.
The rigid characters basin is drawn off, otklyachen backward and is cold.
Rigid type has great deal of energy that is why
he can attain anything he wishes in his life. This is the only character that
has all will centers, that is back centers, open. Additionally his first chakra is open what
allows him to feel the connection with earth and to draw the forces from there.
Open and working chakras 1, 2B, 3B(weakly), 4B, 5B, 6B, 6A. I remind you that since the
first chakra is working with them, consequently, they charge people with energy
by the means of their presence only, saturate their fields with energies.
I draw your special attention that every
character with no exception has chakras 4A and 5A closed, that is you should
draw special attention at them.
Socializing with people, particularly with the
opposite sex, rigid man always tries to restrain his feelings and to act in
such a way not to lose his face and not to look stupid. This is his reaction to
the situation. He always keeps everything under control. This concerns in
particular inner feelings which are incomprehensible for him and which ones he
experiences the fear in front of.
He has a tendency to lead mundane life, and
there are many ambitions in him. He considers inside that he is higher then
everyone and knows everything. Sometimes he may pronounce that aloud. In the
meeting with other man he impels him to begin competing with him. He keeps
silence, but it simply pulls you enter the competition.
Inside him lives a
great feeling of horror in front of the treason and betrayal, which he tries to
avoid at any cost. This is why he attempts to leave first, before they will
leave him. In that sense for people with rigid character score is counted only
into their benefit, and they suffer greatly if it happens otherwise. Their own
vulnerability, pain and offence are intolerable for them, therefore in order to
solve their problems they need to go after the pride, by which they cover these
feelings.
But all offence consists in that, that people,
restraining their feelings inside still even greatly develop pride in
themselves, which serves as a protection-mask in this case. This is a vicious
circle, in which the man with rigid character is, and there is no exit from it,
until the man gathers enough manhood and determination to go into his feelings
and to begin to live through them. This occurs rather rarely, if the man is not
committed to work on himself and doesnt understand what the matter is about.
Absolute majority of people prefer to live through their characters
unconsciousnessly, creating in their life cruel crisises
and overcoming them.
Socializing with other people, with opposite
sex, man with rigid character demands love to himself, and he wants greatly
them to nourish sexual feelings to him, - this allows him to feel self-respect
and nourishes his feeling of pride. In this kind of situation he becomes the
ruler and can punish or have pity at his will.
But, tempting and flattering, he uses epithets
and dies to remain free himself, not to expose his
true feelings and thoughts and not to be bond by promises, indeed once he was
defeated exactly in this situation. Do you follow how does the initial trauma
color each act, every action of this character?
This behavior manner is used not only in
relationships with future sexual partners, but also in socialization with other
people.
Once I fell into a
company with one man who was by birth from
One moment I had
enough of that, and I asked him: Ok, you say it all right, but what do you
think personally about all this? His reaction simply stuck me: he stood
still, strained up himself and removed himself instantly. Almost simultaneously
with that he turned his side to me and began to answer my question, addressing simingly to me, and simingly to
the woman who proved to be on the contrary. He bore some nonsense, which had no
relation to the question at all, but he spoke, spoke and spoke. But I already
didnt need his respond anymore.
In my outlook, you will never succeed to attain
honesty and openness in the relations with rigid character neither in
business nor in intimate relationships, that is, where the presence of sincere
feelings is indispensable. If you are a woman, you may for any time - through
decades knock by your fist into his rock chest, but he will stay closed anyway.
Once (or for many times) he already experienced the intolerable feelings of
rejection, betrayal and neglect of his feelings he has more then enough of
that. He avoids the repetition of this situation by all his powers.
In this situation with a woman possessing the
rigid character, approximately the same occurs, but in the softened version.
Though the feelings which tear up the chest of a man at that time do not differ
in intensity and in sharpness of experiencing the pain from the womans
feelings whot has fallen into the similar situation
with a man. Most likely they wound man more.
When the man with rigid character attempts by
all his powers to keep his independence and freedom, he only provokes the
partner for the competition. The love disappears here, only the competition
remains. His pride then is wound since he doesnt see that he is desired and is
more greatly pulled to the competition. This lasts up to the moment until they
run asides. This is one another vicious circle in which the man with rigid
character is, and, till he is in it, he will never obtain anything.
I watched with
admiration one woman, very soft by the sight, when she removed into the
subperson of inner critic, - how she sobbed that she couldnt push the husband
under herself and made him act as she wanted. They divorced after twenty six
years of living together.
From the point of view of physical body, its
necessary for the rigid type to learn to relax. But this is another relaxation
then in the case of characters described above. Every of the characters must
learn the relaxation of his own. And as usual, he needs to begin living through
the strains described above in the different parts of his body.
From the point of working with ones own inner
blocks, he needs to learn to surrender to his inner feelings. In the moments
when he let them outside, they brought only pain for him that is why his
defective disposition in the meetings with opposite sex and also in other
relationships, in business, for instance will be: Ill not surrender.
Its natural that he sets sex naked physics,
so to say above the love, since the feelings are intolerable for him.
Feelings and emotions give to the life taste and aroma every man knows it at
least subconsciousnessly, - that is why, of course, this position cannot bring
him satisfaction. This is the way a double knot appears in his life: Every my
choice is incorrect; this - is not that. In other words, this very double knot
may sound in this way: If Ill open my feelings, Ill be harmed; if I wont
for me it already is painful and intolerable. With the help of these knots he
simultaneously escapes from situation and gets stuck in it more greatly.
If hell surrender to his feelings, this will
bring harm to him; if hell not surrender and preserve his pride, the feelings
will continue rotting inside, without leaving to the outside. In any case he loses
if he follows the decision based on the logical functions of the mind, - the rules of the game in this dual world are such.
The essence of the game, of the lesson, if you prefer to be the pupils, consist
of that, in order to teach the man to fall outside the dual logic which is
based solely on the decisions, definitions, evaluations, though forms, every of
which is dual in its nature it belongs to this world, consequently, it is
dual. How to proceed in this case we have discussed in detail in my second book
Good and Evil: A Game in Duality.
Specialists in the field of psychiatry and body
working conclude that the only exit to overcome this problem consists of that,
to unite the heart with the genitals, meaning that these two parts of the body
have a powerful block between them in the region of abdomen. If youll recall
and reread what the third chakra is responsible for, youll understand what the
discussion is about.
Once a man from
As far as I
remember now, they didnt have intimate relationships, but there were meetings,
there was his reckless jealousy, there were persuasions to leave the husband,
which causes only pain to her and dont
understand her, - a common story there were infinite hours spent under her
balcony. But she, having loved him, always entreated to leave her at rest, to
wait still certain time.
Thus, introductory:
he has rigid type plus oral in a little, and she has, by description, oral plus
rigid in a little. Think where these relationships can lead to. This is to say,
your home task.
I advised him to be grateful for this love that
she granted to him in the life, - as it was.
When we love and receive a rejection or suffer
the defeat, after that we usually close ourselves even more. Inside we have
more pain accumulating, disappointment in life and in opposite sex. Wrong, misleading tactics. Be grateful for what you have had
in your life, for those minutes of happiness which were, even if you didnt get
a reply. The man you have met on your way, man or woman, made what he has made,
awakened those feelings which he has awakened, acted as he has acted.
I know many romantic stories about married and
unmarried people, who had a man or woman suddenly appeared in their life, who
made an entire revolution in their view to the life, opened their hearts and
the joy of life for them. As a rule, that people went away
then, disappeared or died. But what they did has remained to live in the
hearts of their loved and beloved. After these events the life of that people
has changed completely, if they kept that love in their hearts.
Every man at least once faces love in his life.
This is up to you to decide how you will live through this event, what
evaluation, what definition you will assign to it rejection and betrayal or
joy and happiness of life, - even if you were not given what you have asked
for. What youll say to yourself that like youll live through your life.
Your feelings are necessary for you first of
all. Allow them to be, if they still are. If they go away, release them. And be
grateful for that, that everything this is or has been in your life, then the
heart chakra will remain although a little, but open. The life then begins to
change completely.
When you will begin to investigate yourself
carefully, first of all you will encounter the mask which on every declaration
from the outside will say its: Yes, but.... This is a way how rigid character
escapes, doesnt want to encounter painful for him situations, even if they
seem innocent at a glance. Begin to fix every time this mask in your
conversations.
After you will pass through it, on the surface
of your consciousness basic emotions will appear, which will declare: I wont
love you anyway.
These words
precisely one young man was saying to his girlfriend many-many years ago, when
they bounded their fates officially. Only when he has got acquainted with the
character types, he began to realize what has happened and continues to happen
in his life.
When a man with rigid character will work out
his traumas, free him from the fear of being betrayed and will allow his
feelings to appear at least partially to the outside, his higher Self will
declare: I give myself to you, I love. He will finally be able to say these
words to a near man, what has never happened to him because it threatens him,
as it was already stated before, almost by fatal consequences. I remark that
this is only according to his opinion.
When the higher self exits to the outside,
rigid character is not afraid anymore that his feelings will be seen by the
others, whoever they are for him; he easily shares the feelings with other
people.
Man with rigid character is full of the most
diverse adventures, the most genuine passion and the deep feeling of love, but
all this, as a rule, rests in the concealed form, thus far this person will not
perform the work on the release of these feelings. People with rigid character
are very strong and self-confident, they are able to
accomplish the improbable at a first glance things, unattainable for the
others.
They are bright leaders and rulers, who may
bravely be followed, - they will without fail lead you
to the chosen goal. They are capable of heading and of bringing any selected by
them matter to the victorious end.
My feelings are my connection with
the people and the life. They allow me to orient myself better in life. I allow
myself to feel my weakness and vulnerability. This helps me to feel my strength
better. I release the pain of the past. I allow myself to feel, to love.