The term «masochism», accordingly to the
definition of the writer and philosopher L. Zakher-Masoch,
means «getting moral satisfaction from making to oneself the moral sufferings;
self-injury». This character is laid down (fig. 7) when the child learns to
walk, move properly, when the child establishes himself in this world. His
mother is imperious, but the father is obedient, that is, he is under the heel
of the wife – the painfully recognizable picture.
The mother extends her imperiousness to the
child too. She constantly oppresses him and cavils about him, pokes his
mistakes to his nose. Despite the fact that she loves him, she makes the love
dependent from the behavior. In other words, if the child behaves himself in
such a way the mother demands from him, if he obeys her, then she gives her
love to him – this is what we and you have defined sometime as conditional
love.
The mother constantly controls the child,
observes how much and what he eats, nourishes him by force. Another her small
point is constant and total control of the process of leaving of the natural
necessities by the child. Every moment she remembers this, follows it and puts
him on the pot by the force.
She is very ambitious, desires the child to
achieve success in life, this is why she treats him as a doll. She deprives him
of freedom and puts into the rigid frames of conduct. All his attempts to
resist the enormous oppression exerted at him she rigidly suppresses by any
means. She constantly uses the feeling of guilt to manipulate him, - the subtext is constantly followed in her words and
actions: «Look, you hurt me», «You did bad to me again, - you’re bad». That is
why the masochists have as main and greatly developed feature the feeling of
guilt. They constantly experience it for each occasion, and even without one.
When the child tries to rebel, express his
anger or irritation, she suppresses these attempts very rigidly and decisively.
That is why anger and malice, which are present in great amount in masochist,
live deeply inside him, but he doesn’t allow them to go outside under normal
conditions. He has an affirmation burnt out by hardened iron living inside him,
that if he would allow them to become visible, he will be brought low. The
mother really brought low the child’s dignity and constantly – or very often –
brought low him. He stands no bringing low that is why he tends to live through
it again and again.
Breeding up the child, the mother makes an
accent to material necessities of the child, and mostly or up to the greater
part rejects the spiritual necessities of the child. That’s why the seventh
chakra is closed with a masochist, and spirituality – is something he
constantly needs to think about and to work at. But this, as you see, doesn’t
mean a straightforward joining to some teaching or religion. This is something
totally different.
As you see from the stated above, masochist
really has something to become the masochist. These are not heavens, however,
as the prehistory of any other characters. And I remind you once again, that
since External Equals Internal, the child also has taken part in lying down of
this and other types. He created this situation by himself for him, to live
through this character later and to learn the corresponding to that character
lessons.
Don’t blame anyone in what happens in your life, take all responsibility for your life and for what you
have on yourself. Then you could begin
to spend the powers you spent for blaming others for yourself. The victim (a
pity man) role takes very much power. When you, having studied it, will become
free of it, your effectiveness of living through your life will increase, to
say so, infinitely.
To say so, masochist is what is called «is not
to be feed by the bread», but to be let to live through the victim role, and
they constantly complain for everything. They don’t show externally the
pleasure and enjoyment they obtain. They look obedient, but have a great
resistance living within them, that is why they may never be subjected
completely. Trying to do so, there is an impression created that you get stuck
in some swamp. Inside the masochists such anger is bowled that even their skin
becomes dark – the anger singes it. They are full of denial, rejection to act and
inner disagreement. They can express anger only indirectly – we’ll talk about
it later.
The feeling if self-dignity of a masochist is
injured. He hardly expresses his emotions and defends his «self», his wants. He
is afraid to risk. He has strongly developed feeling of self-bringing low, and
he often directs his own impulses inside, to himself. When he tries to be
active anyway, it often, if not always, ends in defeat, what is perfectly
understandable, because all his attempts to establish himself were stopped in
the childhood. From another side, just because of this he is very persistent
and stubborn.
In relationships masochist are quite gluing and
try to conquer the approval by zeal. They care* silently, and this concerns not
only acquaintances.
They drag their load and are unable to see that
they can easily take off it. However, this is quite understandable, because, as
we have already told about it, when you are inside the block, it’s impossible
to see it. This is possible, only when one begins to look through the external
signs and to realize what happens. If you have detected in yourself masochist
features, begin to think about this question.
Inside the subconsciousness of a masochist
there is hatred which is simply bubbling. And this is understandable too: all
his creative power is concluded inside, it has never been allowed to be
self-expressed freely to the outside. That is why he always tends to become
independent. You may achieve this, if you’ll go to your dependence and begin
thinking about the fear in front of actions and of bringing low associated with
it.
The first defense of the masochist – is «The
Feelers». And he really spreads out from his aura the feelers, which tend to
the solar interlacement of the one who masochist deals with, in order to
conqueror the essence of a man, bring it to the outside and to master it (it
could even be said to devour it); then he’ll experience himself in safety.
During relationships we usually impel each other to act, demand something from
each other, try to control and so on. Since the
masochist was controlled and oppressed in the childhood, now he views any man
as his enemy and tries to neutralize him.
If we consider physical sensations, it looks
like that you’re slowly and gradually constrained in motion, deprived of
initiative, you have some unclear feeling of weigh piled upon you, and you
loose yourself in a while. These feelings are best traced in long time
interval, but, unfortunately, by that time the man often looses his essence and
is unable to do any analysis. He becomes completely controlled.
Just the same feelers work against the
masochist himself. He’s frequently taken ownership by feeling of desperation
because he is afraid to act. Actions mean bringing low to him – it occurred
with him many times in the childhood. He begins to blame himself in everything,
to feel himself a victim, and then feelers begin to work against his own
essence, to pull him down. By the way, the emotions associated with the feeling
of desperation manifest themselves in the body as a big fat mass, which is
located from the pubes to the chest bone. This concerns not only masochist
character type.
The exhibited «Silent Thinking» - is the next
defense which is applied by the masochist. It can be otherwise called «exhibited
pensiveness». On the energetic plane this defense produces plenty of noise,
attracting the right amount of attention needed to him.
On the physical plane this can look the
following way. The room is crowded, all make noise and cheer each other, but he
silently stands still aside, resembling thinking about something. They will
very soon go to him and begin to offer help. He will ingeniously and politely
thank (I’ll point it out, that it happens apart from his consciousness) for
these proposals, explaining why they won’t work, and will ask to issue another
proposals. To speak about family relationships, it looks almost alike here.
Being conquered by the feelers, men think he
needs help, but all the masochist needs from them – is to redistribute his
energy inside, especially in the region of basin, where he has powerful sexual
block located. To accomplish it, he may also apply another defense-attack of
his own – «Word Arrows».
They strike the sorest points, are very
unhealthy, as you might have been convinced many times for yourself,
and are targeted to provoke the interrogator for an anger blow.
Where do you know
from where are the sorest points of a man?
How do you become
aware where a man has the sorest point?
The one who sends the arrows knows
unconsciousnessly what he does. His aim – is to cause the anger blow. Then he
will be given permission for his own anger blow. This way he avoids the feeling
of bringing low. This defense is well often applied when the conversation
concerns directly or vaguely sexual theme.
Because in the childhood masochist was often
brought low and forbidden to act, to express himself, he has an action denial
formed in his subconsciousness, which concerns sexual sphere also, of course.
Man-masochist in the most cases will be impotent, and woman-masochist – frigid,
because inside they prohibit themselves to act.
I want to warn you right now that if you have
found masochist features in yourself, this doesn’t mean at all that you should
become impotent or be frigid. Classical masochists, as classical
representatives of others type can be rather rarely met. As a rule, man has
several characters intersected in him, this is why a man, who has masochist
features clearly visible in him, can possess normal potency and have an orgasm due
to the presence of some other type in him.
But it is required to state that a relationship
with woman-masochist may influence negatively the man’s potency, because she
restricts herself to act in the sexual plane and will apply «Arrows» or «The
Feelers» defense to a man to deprive him of motion. For instance, she could
throw allegedly the innocent observation or «joke» about his potency, but it
will be stored in man and might work during the course of time. She does it
subconsciousnessly, making no self-report about what’s happening. All this
takes place also because she views her sexuality as disgusting and immoral;
this way it was suppressed in childhood.
I hope this information will not complicate your
relationships with close people. Information is information. This is only an
opportunity to think about what happens. And, finally, the same attracts the
same, and the external always mirrors what happens inside you.
Masochist’s keen interest in pornography is
originated by the same reasons given above. It stimulates their potency and
aids at least to some degree realizing them sexually. Since almost all man
possess masochist type features in them, it’s possible to affirm that interest
to that kind of art will never perish completely while a man has a body. It’s
useless to fight this interest, but to rule it what is absolutely possible.
Masochist has short, compressed, muscular body
which is directed downward and backward. It looks like it has been compressed
from the bottom and the top. It resists by all its dynamics to any pushes
forward, like saying «no» to all attempts to make him act. It has plenty of
tensions collected in it. The main tensions are in muscle-flexors. The body has
a tendency to suffer obesity. The skin is dark, sluggish, and brownish and has
many hairs on it.
The head looks like pulled inward and bended
forward, like he always awaits the strike. The jaws are big, and have much
tension in them. The face has innocent expression: «Who am I?».
The eyes are mild, sad and look suffering. Images which flick in front of the
inner sight are associated with endurance, patience, stamina. They also contain
the concrete images associated with him being a prisoner.
The masochist’s neck is short, thick and deeply
settled. Here he has his main energy blocked. The shoulders are sloping, heavy
and have a feeling of defeat recorded in them. The arms are strong and
powerful. The abdomen is compressed and dense, and the waist is short and
thick. His buttocks are flat, and basin looks like – as if the man has gathered
the tail. Back looks like carrying a heavy load, and all its appearance leaves
an impression that a man has underwent the defeat.
His movements are dragging, forged, trashed*.
They are slow and heavy also. He interrupts his movements frequently – a result
of inner prohibition for actions. Beginning to act, even if the problem is the
simplest one, he might do much breathing in and out desperately.
As you have probably understood already,
masochist, to say so, is not very active personality, not to say a bit more. He
has plenty of energy in him, but it is concluded inside and is firmly held
there. It has converted itself to mass entirely. During conversations with him
there is an impression created that you get sucked into the quagmire. Neck – is
one of the most important places where his energy is blocked.
Functioning chakras – are 3A and 6A. This is
very powerful combination, which permits masochist to be outstanding in the
field of parapsychology. There is only one trouble: seventh chakra which is
responsible for spirituality is closed with them. This means that many aspects
of personal development they simply don’t understand that is why they may harm
a man. I’ve met many people who had bright masochist features in the structure
of their body, - they simply manipulated people they
were providing aid to. They made them dependent of themselves and theirs
prognosis.
Just like all normal men, masochist tends to
closeness, he greatly desires to be near and one of those loved, but he views
the nearness from the position of subordination only that is, he may be near
with people or man only if he is obeying him. That is why he holds himself in
the lowered position.
His relationships with a man near to him are
passive and aggressive at the same time. Masochist will try not to give him
what he wants, and will try to humiliate him and to bring him low. He will also
try to make him seem stupid, the same way they acted upon him in the childhood.
When you deal with masochist, you always want
to force the events because he thinks and moves very slowly. You experience
yourself like getting sucked in a swamp.
On his own, masochist has already got sucked in
the swamp long ago, where he everlastingly whimpers and complains about the
unhappy life, provoking and irritating others by his complaints. He does it
with great mastery. When the provocation works and the man blows, the masochist
himself also obtains the right to blow, which he uses with great pleasure. He
doesn’t realize his desire to provoke and thinks that this way he attempts to
make an appeal to the people, bringing pleasure to them, for instance, in a
form of a secular conversation.
He has a lot of feeling of desperateness and
defeat in him. It appeared in him because all his attempts to express his
independence failed totally. Since he cannot allow his creative energy to flow,
much rage and fury were formed inside him, which he holds firmly inside. Apart
from these feelings, he has many malice and spite. The feelings of indignation,
offence, loss, enormous feeling of shame and guilt are also the distinct
features of a man with masochist character structure. Besides that, he has in
him the feelings of denial, hostility, superiority over others, and a fear that
he can blow in furious anger.
In meeting with other people, he impels them
for teasing, pestering and boring asking for. His voice is whimpering and
irritatedly-dissatisfied.
One woman, when
talking with her daughter, frequently speaks in the irritated and dissatisfied
tone, making her feel her guilt every moment for what she didn’t do, didn’t
wash it, didn’t cleared up there.
Associating with surrounding people, masochists
and men who possess these features use very polite expressions. This allows
them to manipulate men in a concealed way and to get the desired result.
The presence inside the masochist of a great
deal of anger and other negative feelings, and also the presence of the actions
prohibition – all this leads to that he has much tension accumulating inside
him. To calm down, to begin living and acting is impossible for him, because he
thinks that by accepting what he has
living inside him, it will lead once again to the subordination to another man
and to the bringing low. That is why his negative goal is to retain himself
closed; he likes to reject and to prohibit, likes the absence of the result
(this is what he was taught in the childhood).
The presence of the negative goal leads to
appearing of the double knot, which perfectly regulates the masochist, making
him live through sufferings and pain proper to him: «If I’ll get angry, I’ll be
brought low; if I won’t, I’ll be brought low too». Inside the masochist there
is always a great fear of bringing low living.
I remind you that duality pairs which confine
the masochist, - are Freedom – Prison and Action – Inaction.
To speak about the physical body, masochist
needs to enter the tensions in body which were stated above and to begin
feeling and experiencing them, releasing them. There is nothing original there.
To speak about the creative self-expression, he
needs to begin expressing himself by any comfortable and accessible means, and
in any field he will ever want.
As for the emotions, masochist needs to allow
him to express those negative emotions which he has inside him. But it’s
required to bear in mind that it should be done with minimal injury to the
surrounding people. That is why the basic principle here is «not to rush». If
you’ll rush, you’ll always encounter the fear of bringing low.
Where is it located
precisely in your body?
Enter it and begin to live through it. Begin
living through those concrete sensations which it engenders in your body, no
matter how unpleasant it will be.
When you will start to learn the masochist
character type which you have in yourself, you’ll first of all encounter the
mask which will say: «I’ll destroy me myself before you’ll do it» or «I’ll
injure me myself, before you’ll do it». Having learned this mask and allowed
yourself to pass further inside, you’ll encounter the basic emotions, which
will open in front you the defective dispositions: «I’ll do it in the sake of
the evil, provoke you and annoy you». If you’ll spent enough time living
through these emotions, not fighting with them, not judging or evaluating them
but accepting, monad will be turned finally, and you will have the following
words of unknown origin articulating inside you: «I’m free». And you will feel
an unusual easiness, as in the case of working with other character types, when
you’ll go out to higher «self».
Masochists are much thinned personalities.
Their creative power manifests itself in subtle and complicated compositions
where the nuances play the main role, which they sense perfectly. It could be
affirmed that any masterpieces in any sphere of the human activity are created
due to the presence of the energy of this particular type.
They are gifted from nature with ability to
hold intercourses because their hearts are full of love, compassion and care
for other people. One can rely surely on them in the difficult minute, because
their devotion is not aware of the boundaries. They are reliable and deserving
confidence people.
As workers, they are very zealous and
thoroughly carry out what is charged.
At the same time they possess a great creative
power for fun and joy.